A Not-So-Silent Way

Bryan Donaldson

After seeing what other folks do with Tumblr, perhaps I’m being too serious with my posts. Hrmm…

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. Suffice to say, things have changed significantly in the last several months.

For one, I no longer have my old, 8:00 -5:00 salaried job, and to be honest, it’s a good thing. I miss the pay, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t miss the relentless stress that seemed to grind away at my self-confidence during my every waking moment. Looking back, I had no business holding any of the jobs I did at Caterpillar. My degree (and to some degree, my own self) was focused in on the creative, design side of IT, and I seemed to be placed relentlessly in positions that I was wholly unqualified for. I had no business being in inventory analysis, what with my three credit hours of statistics that I struggled through. I had only a cursory level of familiarity with programming, and no experience with any of the more “fundamental” languages like C, or OSes like UNIX/LINUX.

I foolishly believed I’d learn like I always did, by persistence and with time. In the past, I’d always picked things up on the fly, as I do have something of a talent at swift comprehension. What I have learned is that this talent only seems to kcik in when what I’m learning is something I can find a passion in. I learned that programming is not a passion of mine. Design, yes, design is brilliant, developing solutions to complex, new problems, now that’s amazing. A programmer is the final step of that process, where you being handed the design and are told, quite simply, “Build this.” It’s grunt work, as creative as working an assembly line, and as I discovered in my time as one, soul-crushing work.

I went into Caterpillar like a rock star, confident in my talents and abilities, having received praise for my work everywhere I’d gone, but as each week passed, the scything blade in the hall lowered by a millimeter, shaving off a fraction of that confidence. Bit by bit, I began to feel that my confidence was misplaced. I was unable to perform up to not only the standards of my position, but my own standards. Discouragement quickly took the place of optimism. I let myself down, and began to expect failure, regardless of how much effort I threw at it. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I accepted failure as inevitably, and so it became.

I let myself down terribly. I let my team down just as much, which to me is all but unforgivable, as they are good people, and deserved much better than what I gave. I was a burden to them, and they were nothing but kindness itself to me. It kills me to think of it, and it will be a long time before the guilt of that passes. Perhaps that’s for the best.

I was “let go” or “separated”, a friendly word for “fired”, but with no hard feelings (after all, I wasn’t negligent or lazy, I was simply unskilled). I was told I was free to apply for jobs at Caterpillar as I saw them (I wasn’t black-balled), but I realized that nothing could be further from my mind. It’s nothing against Caterpillar, I have no animosity for them, no more than I would any other manufacturing concern. I just realized that I need to do something meaningful with my life, and even though I didn’t have a clear view of what that was, I knew that Caterpillar couldn’t deliver it to me.

Thus, a long period of what I’ll hesitantly call soul-searching began. I would recommend to anyone who is struggling with what they want out of life to take a look at “What Color Is Your Parachute” by Richard Bolles. It’s a fantastic tool, and is well worth the money. I eventually realized (partially though my newfound love of stylish clothing and things with style in general) that I have a profound love of beauty, of simple elegance and forms pleasing to the eye. More than that, I want to bring that sort of beauty to the world at large. I also happened to remember that I have a talent, one discovered but never actually harnessed, for user interface design (although not one for illustration, which is why I never went down that road).

Then, I heard about usability.

Usability. The art of making something intuitive to use, of making form and function seamless. An elegant combination of design, behavioral psychology, and creative thinking, and in my case, IT. A perfect fit, and the direction I’m throwing myself at. I am indeed going back to school, but not for psychology (although it is still a passion of mine), but for a Master’s in web application design, focusing in on usability and human-computer interaction. I am thrilled, because it feels right. There are no nagging doubts that this might not be what I want. In two years, I will have a Master’s degree in a field that I love and have a history of excellence in.

In the meantime, I’m working for a temp agency, and through them, for State Farm doing help desk technical support work. Believe it or not, I’m actually happy with this. I work with good people, doing work I’m far overqualified for, but am exceptionally skilled at. In my first month here, I’ve already become the fastest tech they have, and have yet to be marked for any mistakes. I’ve been told they want me for full time as soon as they have an opening, and my peers think I’m a shoe-in for 2nd level support. I’ve got the GRE coming up soon, but feel prepared for that, and using some of my spare time to work for a not-for-profit called SCORE, helping mentor potential new entrepreneurs.

So, things are looking up. Ideally, school will start in the Spring. The start of many new things.

It’s been said that the only way to improve your writing is to write. This makes sense, so I’m going to try and do just that. Or rather, do more of just that. I don’t write much, and it would probably be a beneficial thing to get back in the habit of doing.

Things have been… mad, to say the least, recently. Massive, earth-shaking changes are happening in my life, and it would be an understatement to say that they worry me. I don’t much get into the habit of dragging dirty laundry into public, and I don’t plan on changing that, so you’ll have to take my word for it when I say, my life is changing.

I’ve decided to go back to school. I realized that one of the biggest joys in my life comes from helping other people. It doesn’t have to be some massive gesture of goodwill; I like seeing people smile, and that often doesn’t take too much to make happen. I must confess, though, that my current career of technical support doesn’t scratch that itch easily. In fact, dissatisfaction’s been the name of the game for quite some time, and until very recently, I’d been able to stomach that. No longer, I’m afraid.

I’ve decided that I must pursue a new direction, one more… beneficial to my fellow man. I’ve decided to learn about psychology, the human mind, behavior, and the inner workings of us. In a way, it’s a lot like technical support. It’s dealing with the most advanced computer around, one that is both exceptionally resilient and delicate, understanding its hows and whys, and learning how to fix the parts that aren’t working the way their owner thinks it should. To help ease out stuck routines, to add new code, to find where exceptions are being thrown, and get things back up and running.

Wish me luck.

Once again, I feel that I’m spending too much of my time with video games. If you’re a gamer, you know the feeling. One, two, three days will seem to have rushed by without altogether too much happening, save for work, or time with a loved one. You find yourself feeling like you’re out-of-touch with reality. You find that you’ve spent entire days of your weekend indoors, without even opening the door. It’s happened to me for the last time (for a while, at least)!

Starting this Friday, I’m giving up on video games for as many months as I can manage. My only exception will be so-called “couch” games, whereupon said games involve social interaction with people that are physically present, in the same room. Beyond that, they’re off-limits. What am I going to do with this newfound spare time? 

For one, I intend to be more social. Hanging out with friends is something that happens far more rarely than it should for me. So, fixing that. Another goal is to use the money I’ve been putting into gaming towards my appearance. I need to update my wardrobe, and I’m realizing that a sense of style is helpful in a lot of ways. Third, I’m hoping to get caught up with some of my half-finished resolutions. Books to read, skills to learn, so on and so forth. 

I’m psyched!

theskid asked: Hey homie, generally my rates are between $30-$40 an hour depending on what I'm doing, whether or not it's something that I really like to do or if I can sell prints of it after it's done and so forth...

Generally it takes me anywhere from 6-10 hours for something comparable to a "Bad Dude", I believe the Beatles illustration took me about 10-12.

Good to know! I’d have to save for a while, but it’s going on my “want to do” list. Best start wracking my mind for ideas… :D

atatforamerica:

NERDS OF AMERICA:

We were once a country that made things: giantmetal cars, Hoover Dams, non-AutoTuned popular music.

But now we are stuck in an economy in limbo, surrounded by our Internets, our hipsters and our arguing politicians.

Nerds, I have a great idea to make America great…

I’ve always been a fan of the Bond films, but it’s never been because of the crazy gadgets, snide one-liners or fast cars. For me, it’s all about the villains.

Some of you may remember that, ages back, there was a game series known as “Dungeon Keeper”. These games put you in the role of an… owner(?) of a generic fantasy dungeon. You’d assign your little helpers to dig out rooms from the rock, build treasure rooms, traps, libraries, and the like, and wait for the forces of Good to come and attempt to ruin your fun. And was it ever fun.

The series unfortunately petered out after the sequel, and while it’s possible to get it to run on current-gen OSes, it’s not easy. Thankfully, a third game of the genre was released in 2004, a well-rated, if rather unknown, spiritual successor to the Dungeon Keeper line. Instead of managing a dungeon, Evil Genius gave you the choice of one of three Evil Villains and shipped you off to an island where you could construct your fiendish empire. Instead of tunneling underground to build dungeons, you were hollowing out mountains or volcanoes to build secret bases. An upgrade, I’d argue.

The game really revolves around three major points; managing your small army of minions, carrying out nefarious schemes against the world at large, and thwarting the agents of justice (and foolish tourists) who land on your island and meddle. Your evil avatar him/herself doesn’t do much, which makes sense. Can you honestly imagine Dr. No installing his own death trap? I don’t think so. No, he (and you) have a score of minions to do such menial things for you.

Your minions excavate rooms, buy and set up the equipment you order, and fight your enemies. To make sure they can do that well, you’ve got to keep them healthy, loyal, and alert (as well as intelligent and well-rested). To this end, you’ll build barracks, beds, cafeterias, rec rooms, and other places for them to keep themselves in good shape; you never take direct control over any of the nameless minions, you just order something to be done and it gets done. Minions start out as yellow-jumpsuited workers, but can be trained to fulfill a specific role; by the mid-point of the game, your base will be patrolled by scientists, corrupt diplomats, and sharpshooters, among others.

As for nefarious schemes, Evil Genius doesn’t quite deliver in spades. Any actions taken against the world at large are managed through a Risk-board-esque display of the world, which shows several regions where your minions can be sent, and missions that they can attempt while there. Missions are discovered by having minions “plot” in a region, while money is earned by having them “steal” in a region. Both of these generate heat, which eventually causes agents, thieves, and soldiers of the various nations to pay you a visit. It’s an interesting balancing act, as some minions are better at stealing than others, some reduce the heat of others, some reduce the time it takes to achieve a mission, and so forth. It’s a simple system, but it requires constant attention. Occasionally an agent will show up on the board near your minions, and if they’re not told to “hide”, you’ll often lose more than a few. Each mission has a description, but few of them make any difference past the amount of heat/notoriety they gain you.

Finally, we come to the good guys. You will constantly be getting visitors from any of the major political powers, be they simple, thick-headed tourists, or government agents. Tourists come steadily, and will wander about, poking their noses in places where they may or may not belong, whereas agents come in greater numbers when your heat is getting too high. And they come armed. There are numerous ways of dealing with these pesky individuals. A well-hidden base helps, as does distractions; the primary one is the ability to build and outfit a hotel as a false front on the island. This will usually detain any tourists, and slow down agents. The other method is one of the game’s strongest points… traps.

Traps have two components, the sensor and the trap itself. The sensor is usually something simple, like a pressure plate or a motion detector, and is assigned a component to activate. The components get fairly inventive, going from giant wind turbines to a pit filled with piranha, and better yet, they can be combined. Not combined, as in a turbine that spews piranha, although that would be amazing, but more along the lines of “the victim trips the lasers, which turns on the turbine, which slams them into the wall, where they fall into the fire pit. Not only is this possible, but the game rewards you monetarily for crazy chains of gas traps, magnets, and treadmills. In all honesty, I get as much fun out of coming up with complex traps as I do just about any portion of the game.

Evil Genius has held up nicely over the last seven years, graphics-wise, as the game’s style (much like WoW’s) remains fresh despite the lack of antistropic filtering or light bloom. The whole game itself reeks of 1960s spy movie, from the navy seals synchronized swimming in the load menu to the atrocious earth-toned wallpaper of the rec room. There’s a fantastic amount of detail packed into Evil Genius as well; you might notice that a person’s footsteps sound and echo differently from room to room as they go from carpet to tile to wood floors. Bored minions with nothing to do will sneak off to low-traffic areas to catch a smoke. And so on. The controls are good, and have useful shortcuts that aren’t covered by the in-game material but can be found on any FAQ. There are some bugs, some of which can cause the game to crash, but none of which are game-breaking in that they require some extraordinary circumstances.

Evil Genius is, on the whole, a fantastic game. There’s something amazingly intimate about laying out a secret hideaway, figuring out the right location for the gun racks, and deciding that that the guy in the Hawaiian shirt has looked too closely at what’s stored in the freezer room for his own good. You’ll cackle at your traps, rejoice when your security system nips a troop of thieves in the bud, and groan as an elite agent breaks out of his cell to go on a rampage. it’s good solid fun with tons of replay value, and thanks to Steam, it’ll run on most any computer, and for $10, too. Definitely worth the money.

(+) - Captures the feel of the classic Bond films, broad scope, simple execution, highly replayable.
(-) - Some frustrating bugs, some controls not well explained.

Rating: 8/10
Platforms: PC
Publisher: Sierra Entertainment (2004)

Note: Screenshots are from the Evil Genius page on Steam.

(Source: store.steampowered.com)

I briefly mentioned the suffrage issue in a previous blog post, but I thought this might be found interesting… it’s UNGODLY relevant to today’s politics.

(Source: http)

Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for any loss of productivity, free time, or other damages that may occur as a result of purchase and use of the game reviewed hereafter.

Game Developer Story came as something of a surprise to me. I’ve had some serious reservations when it’s come to gaming on smart phones, and although I’ve bought more than my share of games for my iPhone, I’ve never found any that have shone quite like this. GDS is a “Sim Tycoon” game, in the same genre as Rollercoaster Tycoon or the Sims. You start out as a fledgling game development studio, with two employees, $500,000, and a dream. You generally wind up as an eight-man team whose members’ footsteps cause the barren earth to erupt with life due to massive creative talent, and more money that Creosote.

Like most sim games, there’s no story to speak of, but there are numerous goals you can aim for, such as designing a “Hall of Fame” worthy game, selling a million copies of a title, or developing your own console. The scope of GDS is pretty expansive, and will have you managing all sorts of aspects of the business of game design, from advertisement and headhunting for prospective employees to deciding what you’ll have at your booth at the yearly games convention.

You’ll have plenty of stats and elements to keep track of, from employees’ skills and salaries to the market share of a particular console you’re developing for, but it never becomes overwhelming; the designers have managed to strike an excellent balance between intricacy and micromanagement hell, and it shows. You don’t have to worry about every little detail to crank out a blockbuster title, but if you want to, the option’s there, and it can pay off big.

Unlike a lot of smartphone-based games, GDS isn’t exactly pick-up-and-play. You won’t accomplish much in five minutes of game time, so it’s not ideal for the truly casual audience. It doesn’t run in the background (at least on the iPhone), forcing you to reload from a save file if you take a call or need to use another application. It does have a prolific autosave function, but only offers one save game file, which can be frustrating at times. If you reach the 20-year mark, the supposed “end of the game”, it makes a note of your accomplishments, and from that point on you are no longer being scored, but can continue playing as long as you like. If you start a new game, any genres or types of games you’ve leveled up carry over to the next save, a sort of New Game+, which is a nice touch.

Overall, GDS is a fantastic title. Its graphical style is simplistic and harkens back to the style of a lot of classic SNES JRPGs, and its user interface gets the job done. The music also brings back memories of SNES games, but can get repetitive. Gameplay is fantastic, detailed, and I must stress this part, horribly, utterly addictive. I must have lost a good 15+ hours to this game, and loved every minute of it. My only complaints are the lack of support for multiple save files, and the fact that the judges at the Global Game Awards are obviously being bribed by the suits at Senga.

Rating: 9/10 (Buy)
Platforms: iPhone, Android
Publisher: Kairosoft 

(Source: itunes.apple.com)